It has been half a week since I’ve started my Women and Leadership course. I’ve been staying up late due to homework and distractions, but the class is really active. I love how this class isn’t a “sit down for multiple hours and take notes” class, but rather, a 10-minute lecture paired with an activity in which we get out of our seats and interact with each other. Also, Kisa never told us to take notes, but the information we were taught in this program is so valuable that I take careful notes because I want to. That’s a huge “first” for me.
Today’s focus was communication. Our guest speaker, Jen, taught us many things about public speaking. She reminded us that pre-presentation nerves never go away, regardless of how experienced the presenter is. She also listed things to watch out for when presenting. These mannerisms include:
• “Umms”, “Uhhs,” and “Likes”
• Lack of confidence
• Lack of Passion
• Mumbling
• Upspeaking, when one sounds like they’re asking a question when they make a statement
Jen also taught us fun tongue twisters that would help a speaker enunciate a lot better (i.e: Toy boats). She advised for one to use tongue twisters to practice speaking before a speech, as doing so prevents the speaker from swallowing their words in front of their audience.
I have a notebook full of tips like these that I’m planning on using as soon as school comes back in the fall. These tips will help me to become a more comfortable leader and public speaker.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Exposed and Empowered
ComposeEdit HtmlToday I was excited to learn that Jen Madden, a public speaking instructor, was coming to our class to help us learn skills about being an effective communicator and persuader. We identified public speaking pitfalls, including nerves and confidence, tone and diction, eye contact and body language, and lack of preparedness and organization. She gave us advice as to how to keep the audience interested, how to be prepared for spontaneous questions, and how to persuade through ethos, logos, and pathos.
All of these things were very good to know, especially when we were asked after lunch to make a two minute impromptu speech about an unprepared topic. It was interesting to see how different people reacted to being put on the spot. It was also interesting to see the different levels of experience that people had in public speaking, and that even people with no experience were able to do an effective and impressive job. When it was finally my turn, I decided the best way for me to give a convincing speech was to be genuine and conversational. For the most part, this worked to my advantage, as people seemed interested and didn’t seem to question my credibility. However, I became aware of how much I used vocal non-fluencies such as the word “umm”. Afterwards, I received extremely constructive comments and criticism. And throughout the entire process, I felt extremely lucky to be able to have these opportunities to get guided practice in skills that I will be able to use throughout my life.
After class, I was able to discuss the idea for my potential action plan with Kisa. Although she was extremely supportive, she made sure that I understood all of the obstacles that I may encounter, and wanted me to make sure that I felt that I had the time and commitment to start from scratch and create such an ambitious project. It was very useful to get a different perspective on the project from somebody who is so knowledgeable in the area.
Finally in our workshop, we focused on the topic of diversity. One of the exercises that stood out to me the most was one in which we all stood in a circle, and then stepped inward if the comment that was read applied to us. This was one of the most terrifying, educational, and empowering experiences I have gone through. Many of the topics were extremely personal; and it was challenging to step forward to a presented statement, especially one that I would never admit on my own. Although I felt incredibly vulnerable, I challenged myself to be honest with myself and with those around me, and when I met that challenge I felt incredibly proud and empowered. It was also interesting to see who else stepped up when a statement was made. Seeing different people from different backgrounds step up for the same statement was very united. Furthermore, every assumption that I had subconsciously made was completely destroyed when I saw who stepped up and who did not. I could tell how powerful this was when we finished, and the entire group (many of whom seem to always be happy and talkative) was completely somber and silent.
Today was extremely empowering for me, because I felt that I was able to be completely honest with myself and others and still be completely accepted, if not more supported. Every day I feel that I am growing as a student and as a person, and am bonding more and more with the girls in my class. I am almost scared of how close we will be tomorrow, after the ropes course.
All of these things were very good to know, especially when we were asked after lunch to make a two minute impromptu speech about an unprepared topic. It was interesting to see how different people reacted to being put on the spot. It was also interesting to see the different levels of experience that people had in public speaking, and that even people with no experience were able to do an effective and impressive job. When it was finally my turn, I decided the best way for me to give a convincing speech was to be genuine and conversational. For the most part, this worked to my advantage, as people seemed interested and didn’t seem to question my credibility. However, I became aware of how much I used vocal non-fluencies such as the word “umm”. Afterwards, I received extremely constructive comments and criticism. And throughout the entire process, I felt extremely lucky to be able to have these opportunities to get guided practice in skills that I will be able to use throughout my life.
After class, I was able to discuss the idea for my potential action plan with Kisa. Although she was extremely supportive, she made sure that I understood all of the obstacles that I may encounter, and wanted me to make sure that I felt that I had the time and commitment to start from scratch and create such an ambitious project. It was very useful to get a different perspective on the project from somebody who is so knowledgeable in the area.
Finally in our workshop, we focused on the topic of diversity. One of the exercises that stood out to me the most was one in which we all stood in a circle, and then stepped inward if the comment that was read applied to us. This was one of the most terrifying, educational, and empowering experiences I have gone through. Many of the topics were extremely personal; and it was challenging to step forward to a presented statement, especially one that I would never admit on my own. Although I felt incredibly vulnerable, I challenged myself to be honest with myself and with those around me, and when I met that challenge I felt incredibly proud and empowered. It was also interesting to see who else stepped up when a statement was made. Seeing different people from different backgrounds step up for the same statement was very united. Furthermore, every assumption that I had subconsciously made was completely destroyed when I saw who stepped up and who did not. I could tell how powerful this was when we finished, and the entire group (many of whom seem to always be happy and talkative) was completely somber and silent.
Today was extremely empowering for me, because I felt that I was able to be completely honest with myself and others and still be completely accepted, if not more supported. Every day I feel that I am growing as a student and as a person, and am bonding more and more with the girls in my class. I am almost scared of how close we will be tomorrow, after the ropes course.
Day 9: Silent Secrets
This morning I woke up more tired than I had been previously here at Brown, which is ironic since I got the most sleep last night. I got dressed and headed out for breakfast. My daily routine was setting in but I still can’t navigate around campus. Afterward, I got a coffee at the nearby Starbucks.
During class, Jen Madden spoke to us about public speaking and the tricks of the trade. She taught us how to stand, where to look, and most importantly, what to do with those pesky “um” and “like” words. Jen was really energetic and was the definition of an excellent speaker. At lunch, I got another Starbucks coffee and went back to class a half hour early just to sit and relax. When class resumed, we practiced improv speeches. They were difficult but my listeners were supportive and kind.
We finished the speeches early so class ended a half hour early. I walked around, un
sure of what to occupy my time with. A little while later we met for dinner in the dining hall. I realized when the woman was scanning our I.D.s to let us into the dining hall that our identification is required to get places that we wanted to go, such as the dining hall and the dorm. I took this as an extreme metaphor for life, meaning that our identification and who we are is important in this society to determine where you will go in life. It started raining once we got inside but stopped shortly after. We took that opportunity to run to CVS. We made it back just in time for the Diversity activity. Our class met and we went through many activities where the key rule is to stay silent. One involved colored stickers being placed on our foreheads so we couldn’t see the color. The only instruction was to get in a group without talking. We managed to get all of the colors together by cleverly using people’s clothes to identify color. When we were done we looked at the instructions again realizing that it said a group. They never said we had to get into groups based on color. We could’ve just gotten into one big group but we unconsciously put ourselves into groups based on similarities.
Before I knew it, the session was over and we were all in shock at how powerful those simple activities changed our perspectives. Since our dorm building is all female, we decided to call the lounge the “estrogen den”, and we met in there afterward to play cards. I played a few rounds then headed up to blog. I need to get more sleep tonight because tomorrow is the ropes course. I don’t look forward to it since it is pouring rain and the course is in a wooded area.
I came back from today with one simple concept in mind: that no matter how hard we try, categorizing and putting people into groups based on similarities like race or gender is second-nature. Especially to people like me who are completely accepting to all races, sexual orientations, social backgrounds, etc., seeing this happen in the sticker game frightened me into realizing that we are groomed by society to accept these views even if we don’t realize it.
Impromtu Speeches
The class today was very fun and interactive. Kisa brought in guest teacher Jen Maddin who specializes in public speaking. She taught the class how to present themselves (clothing, arm placement, eye contact, etc.) as well as some different types of speaking styles.
Our exercise for this lesson was to practice impromptu speeches. The class broke up into three seperate groups with a T.A. leading the activity. We picked a topic to prepare the speech on by choosing a slip of paper from a lotto. After the topic was selected, 60 seconds were alotted to the student to prepare a speech. It was very challenging, but amazingly fun. The topics I presented were, "Career vs. Family" and "Cyberbullying." This lesson really taught me the art of public speaking and this would definitely be a skill that I will be bringing back to my community in order to effectively express my ideas.
The cafeterias at the University are not as bad as people say. There are plenty of vegetarian options so that's great for the veggie eaters (including myself). The only annoying thing is the lack of proper ventilation in there-- It's always stuffy and the air is thick. Fortunately, you can eat all you want, three times a day!
Umm...
Today we took a crash course in public speaking, taught by guest speaker Jen Madden. As you might know, public speaking is apparently the number one fear of a majority of Americans, with “death” coming in third. So obviously, it’s something that everyone can work on.
In the morning we brainstormed potential pitfalls you have to watch out for when giving a speech. She then discussed with us how to identify and minimize these problems. Today in class we learned how to stand and how to breathe. This may sound easy, it is very important and was actually quite difficult. Both posture and breathing are crucial parts of a good speech/presentation. Another important factor, especially for people of my generation, was minimizing vocal non-fluencies–the likes, umms, and uhs, that are so common in our daily speech. We also tried some fun tongue twisters to begin developing polished, poised speech. For example:
The lips, the teeth, the tip of the tongue
The tip of the tongue, the lips, the teeth
Enunciate, articulate, exaggerate, hmm.
We also discussed the mental aspects of giving a good speech, such as preparation and confidence. However, I can’t disclose all of our new speech techniques in public, because if I do, how will I ever persuade anyone to do what I want? :)
After lunch, I went with Cynthia, Josie, and four other classmates with one of our leader fellows, Laura, to practice impromptu speeches. For those who don’t know, an impromptu speech is when you are given a topic on the spot and have to make up a speech about it. Scary!
I really liked today’s class. It was extremely helpful with regards to public speaking. I got a lot of advice about how to improve with public speaking and I also got to get some hands-on practice.
I would like to take a moment to mention a topic that people should always consider when thinking about college but that might not always be the first thing to come to mind: homesickness. Surprisingly (or not), I'm not actually homesick much at all. However, several of the friends that I have made here have been missing their families, which reminded me to remember this factor when considering colleges.
Okay, maybe I lied a little. I don't miss my house or my family, but I do miss my friends. I love getting new experiences and making new friends and it's actually pretty fun to come to a new place. I like being with people who haven't known me since middle school. However, there are times when I find myself thinking that I should talk to one of my California friends when we cover a particular topic in class and then realize that unfortunately, I can't. While I'm on the topic of missing friends, I'd like to shout out to my friend Maddie Berger, who is also on the East Coast right now college touring. I'm hoping to make plans with her at some point so that she can meet all of my new friends, but I don't know if it will be possible.
Please, don't get the wrong impression. I am having a blast here in Providence, and it's my new friends that make me think of my old friends because I know that they would all get along so well and it makes me sad that they will probably never meet. Now that I have had my little rant, I'll get back to business.
Tonight we met in Solomon Hall to have a diversity workshop. Our mandatory evening workshops are held by our leader fellows, although tonight Kisa was sitting in and taking notes. We talked about identity issues such as gender, nationality, disabilities, race, religion, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic status. The workshop was very intense and emotional, and it has given me a lot to think about. We finished on a lighter note, with reminders about our long day tomorrow as we travel out of town to do our ropes course.
I’m looking forward to the ropes course tomorrow. I think I’ll learn a lot about myself, as well as my methods for dealing with challenges. We have to wake up a lot earlier to get on the bus, but I don’t mind. I’m sure it will be absolutely worth it!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Epiphany
This entire trip is truly a learning experiment. Just in the last three days that I have been at Brown, I have learned so many things about women, about leadership, about teenagers, and especially about myself.
Because this class is less about learning facts and more about exploring concepts, I have become much more intellectually and emotionally invested. Before this class, I had never truly pushed myself into taking a leadership position, thinking about what I could actually do to fight injustice, and concentrate so much on the wellbeing of others. I haven't found my passion, and one of the things that causes me great anxiety is living a life without great purpose.
So today, when the personal reflection journal that Kisa assigned to us touched on all of the above ideas, I freaked out. Although I had been very disciplined throughout the day about time management, my hopes of a good nights sleep went down the drain as soon as I read the prompt, which asked, "What are some of the things that matter to you? If you had "no fear" and no limitations, what are some things that you would do to better yourself, your school, community, or world?" I literally spent two hours thinking and coming up with nothing, feeling guilty about not caring enough about other's problems, feeling frustrated that I hadn't found my passion, and finding too many things that I needed to better about myself. This then reminded me of all of the problems that I am dealing with, future worries, and past regrests. I felt extremely unsatisfied, vulnerable, and hopeless. Eventually I ended up having an emotional breakdown. I wished that I had an unbiased third person that I could tell all my problems to, that would understand me, and help me through my tough time.
And then I had an epiphany. This entire time, I have been trying to think of a theme for my Action Plan. I felt that there was a lot of injustice around topics such as gay rights and immigrant rights, but I couldn't think of a way to actually help the cause. I had also thought of more practical ideas, but felt that help wasn't as needed in those areas. I realized that one of the reasons I was having such a hard time thinking about how to help solve others' problems was that I had so many problems of my own. My own unhappiness and instability prevented me from transcending and going beyond myself. I realized that one of the reasons why our society isn't as focused on helping each other is because we all feel that we need to help ourselves first.
Through this thought process, I came up with the idea to start an anonymous advice and mentorship organization. The idea is that people can come and explain their problems without worrying about being judged, and then a group of people would discuss the problem and contribute their thoughts and opinions in order to provide the most thoughtful and comprehensive solution possible. This would not only help the person recieving the advice, but it would also benefit the people giving the advice through experience in working and sharing ideas and opinions with others, as well as practicing dealing with emotional problems in a rational way.
I hope that this seed of idea will be able to grow into a reality. I don't know if this will end up being the theme of my action plan, but at the moment it is the only thing that seems organic and worthwhile. This is all that I can ask of myself at this point.
Second Day Even Better Than The First
I was even more excited for what the second day of W&L would bring. Today definitely did not disappoint. Kisa started off our morning with an activity: we got three different colors of pipe cleaners, and bent them into different shapes to represent three things we felt were very important to us. My three shapes were:
1) A blue heart, which represented my love of school and the importance of education in my life
2) A green pipe cleaner in the shape of a piece of paper, which represented my love for writing and the impact it has on me
3) A yellow circle, which represented a swimming pool. I have been swimming competitively since I was ten and been a member of club and high school varsity swimming teams. Swimming is a form of meditation for me and always proves to be quite fun.
We got in a circle and had a class discussion about what the pipe cleaners meant to us. It was a good bonding exercise and brought us closer.
We then completed a "self-inventory" handout, where we discussed our strengths, passions, and contributions to our community. My group consisted of Josie, Rebecca, Marilyn, and McKenzie. We all found out what we have a lot in common, such as being organized, and all just want the best for the subjects that we are most interested in.
After our lunch break, we got a wonderful surprise: a two hour visit with Robin Rose, the co-founder of the Summer@Brown Leadership Institute. Her visit with us was absolutely lovely. The first exercise we did was where we got in groups of two - one was the speaker, the other was the listener. The speaker was to answer a question said by Robin, and the listener was supposed to stay engaged and make good eye contact. My partner was at first Marilyn, and later on one of our TAs, Laura. I really connected with what both of them had to say: Marilyn was worried about the intense course load she would have with her upcoming senior year, and Laura was nervous about going to graduate school in Nebraska, away from her fiance, family, friends, and home in Iowa.
After going through this exercise, we listed off what happens in groups of people that involves speaking and listening. Robin then proposed we make a list of reactions when a long silence occurs in a group. This is our list:
Silence:
I-Statements:
I think that in some situations it is good to have a male companion to be out late at night with you, for protection, but at the same time, women should not be considered inferior to men in any way and should be thought of as being able to defend themselves as well.
Class today was extremely productive. Once we were dismissed, Ava, Mariko, Rafjola, Kaylyn, and I headed down to the mall and went shopping for a bit. We then went to dinner and were joined by Rebecca, Cindy, Josie, Olivia, and Selena. After that, I went out to the green to read, listen to music, and relax. I felt nice about today, and I also returned a boy's wallet to him! He had left it on a bench and I held on to it in case he returned, which he did.
I feel like I'm stepping up more as a leader already. Our house is bonding more as well. While I was working on homework at 11 pm, Kaylyn went on a coffee run and got us Starbucks. The caffeine punch helped me to stay awake. It is great to be with all these amazing people.
1) A blue heart, which represented my love of school and the importance of education in my life
2) A green pipe cleaner in the shape of a piece of paper, which represented my love for writing and the impact it has on me
3) A yellow circle, which represented a swimming pool. I have been swimming competitively since I was ten and been a member of club and high school varsity swimming teams. Swimming is a form of meditation for me and always proves to be quite fun.
We got in a circle and had a class discussion about what the pipe cleaners meant to us. It was a good bonding exercise and brought us closer.
We then completed a "self-inventory" handout, where we discussed our strengths, passions, and contributions to our community. My group consisted of Josie, Rebecca, Marilyn, and McKenzie. We all found out what we have a lot in common, such as being organized, and all just want the best for the subjects that we are most interested in.
After our lunch break, we got a wonderful surprise: a two hour visit with Robin Rose, the co-founder of the Summer@Brown Leadership Institute. Her visit with us was absolutely lovely. The first exercise we did was where we got in groups of two - one was the speaker, the other was the listener. The speaker was to answer a question said by Robin, and the listener was supposed to stay engaged and make good eye contact. My partner was at first Marilyn, and later on one of our TAs, Laura. I really connected with what both of them had to say: Marilyn was worried about the intense course load she would have with her upcoming senior year, and Laura was nervous about going to graduate school in Nebraska, away from her fiance, family, friends, and home in Iowa.
After going through this exercise, we listed off what happens in groups of people that involves speaking and listening. Robin then proposed we make a list of reactions when a long silence occurs in a group. This is our list:
Silence:
- Mental tension
- Awkward, as in "are we communicating on the same level?"
- Out of topics
- Comfortable enough with the other person
- Waiting for someone to say and/or do something
- Interpretation voices by setting
I-Statements:
- I feel...
- When you...
- Because...
- I would like...
- Example: I feel like you are a different person when you drink so much because you're angry side comes out. I would like you to please stop abusing alcohol.
I think that in some situations it is good to have a male companion to be out late at night with you, for protection, but at the same time, women should not be considered inferior to men in any way and should be thought of as being able to defend themselves as well.
Class today was extremely productive. Once we were dismissed, Ava, Mariko, Rafjola, Kaylyn, and I headed down to the mall and went shopping for a bit. We then went to dinner and were joined by Rebecca, Cindy, Josie, Olivia, and Selena. After that, I went out to the green to read, listen to music, and relax. I felt nice about today, and I also returned a boy's wallet to him! He had left it on a bench and I held on to it in case he returned, which he did.
I feel like I'm stepping up more as a leader already. Our house is bonding more as well. While I was working on homework at 11 pm, Kaylyn went on a coffee run and got us Starbucks. The caffeine punch helped me to stay awake. It is great to be with all these amazing people.
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