Mentorship Outing

Today, the Brown mentorship group went on our first outing since the dinner. Unfortunately most of the mentors couldn’t make it, but all five mentees were present. We were joined by Mr. Ramsey, Brown alums Susan, Peter, and Alice, Elizabeth, a current senior at Brown, and Irene and Guadelupe, former ILC members and incoming Brown students. We took BART to San Francisco, where we ate lunch at Chevy’s and watched Billy Elliot.

Lunch at Chevy's

At lunch, I sat next to Elizabeth and chatted with her about her experiences at Brown. She is majoring in Sociology but is also doing Portuguese Studies, something she told me she became interested at Brown. Hearing her stories made me realize that students in college discover their passions in college and often change their major, no matter how set they were on it before. I also learned that Brown during the school year is not quite the same as it had been for us at Summer@Brown. There are more events going on and of course, more people on campus, adding to a whole new vibe at Brown.

All the Brownies

After we finished eating, we headed to the Orpheum Theatre to watch Billy Elliot, a musical about a young boy aspiring to be a ballet dancer. I had heard praises about the show from Beilul, a Columbia cohort who saw it on Broadway. In addition, I had never seen a musical before, adding even more to my excitement. I wasn’t disappointed. The show was entertaining and inspiring.

After three weeks of being home, I miss life at Brown so I enjoyed our “reunion” with fellow Brownies. My mentor, Raquel, couldn’t make it today, but we’ve been contacting each other and are planning a meet-up. This mentorship program has been great, and I’m looking forward to future mentorship events.

First Mentor Event

It’s been a while since I wrote about Brown activities, but it is a school that always finds a way back into my life, so I expect to write more about it now and in the future. This time I went to the Orpheus Theater with my mentor and the rest of the Brown mentees. Only my mentor was able to come, so I had another opportunity to talk to Susan.

After we arrived at San Francisco, we went to Chevy’s. Susan and I sat together and we talked about Brown, about school and about next year. I wish I could recall the conversations that Susan and I had, but acting on the wisdom she gave is the ideal. She gave me great advice for my Environmental Club for the coming year, for instance, trusting officers that the club elects, or in context, why people wouldn’t be trusted. We had a rant about projects where only one person did the project. Susan also is going to connect me with someone she is friends with who works at Biorad. However, I found a problem that they only give internships to college students entering sophomore or junior year. Susan still encourages me to apply because her friend said that I would be a good intern and they needed interns. Later this week I will probably contact her friend, and then I could see whether or not I can apply.

After we were ready and the play was about to start, we walked a few blocks to the Theater. We had about four minutes before the play started, so we came at the perfect time. We watched “Billy Elliot the Musical,” and for what I was told, it was a musical based off a film. The story follows Billy’s dream of becoming a ballet dancer while a nation-wide coal strike happens. His parent, since his mother is dead, disapproves of his ballet dream but later accepts Billy and supports him in his London recital to a prestigious dance school. After Billy is accepted to the school, the strike fails. It has a bittersweet ending, but the actors have well placed humor that ends the play focusing on Billy.

The play was a great time to spend time with my mentor, while watching a play that I would have never heard about but nonetheless enjoyed.

Words from a (Hopeful) Future Brown Bear

It’s been more than a couple of days since I left the wonderful city of Providence Rhode Island. I’m no longer jetlagged in any way, and the intense humidity I felt on the East Coast is but a faint memory. However, the memories made between myself as well as my cohort and the other people I met at Brown are forever imprinted in my mind.

I remember being on the plane and leaving the Bay Area before the sun came up and watching the sunrise, which represented a beautiful start to an amazing trip. Although my cohort was really friendly and familiar with one another, we were all still somewhat aloof of each other and tended to stick with people from our own schools. Little did we know, this was all about to change within the first night at Hotel Providence, where we got an email from an angry Don Gosney, who noticed us “segregating” ourselves and demanded that we change such attitude. We immediately made a conscious effort to walk, talk, and sit with members of other schools. This awkward friendliness towards each other was our first form of actual bonding, as we’d laugh about taking cheesy photos and appearing like a cliché “sisterhood.”

For the first week in Providence, my cohort and I went on college tours on a daily basis. Before this program, I was set on settling in California for college. I figured that the stress of leaving my loved ones would outweigh the benefits of studying beyond my comfort zone and in another state. I even specifically told Ms. Sue Kim, my private college advisor, that I was only interested in California colleges. However, on the East Coast, we visited colleges such as Boston University in Massachusetts, a liberal arts college that Martin Luther King Jr. himself graduated from, Wellesley College, an all-girls college that looked like a palace and had top-of-the-line architecture, and Harvard University, another fellow Ivy League college. I’m glad to announce that my eyes have truly been open to all the other options beyond Universities of California. I’m in love with the East Coast and what the colleges have to offer out there, such as multiple study abroad programs and an abundance of intellectual and supportive peers.

After the college tours and an awesome over-lapping with cohort of Brown Session 1, it was time to move into the dorms. I still remember the struggle of moving my stuff out onto the campus and finding out where to go with my cohort. When we all found out what to do and where to go, we were faced with another struggle: carrying our luggage up the stairs onto the 2nd and 3rd floors of Harkness Hall. We helped each other before helping ourselves and pretty soon, we were visiting each other’s rooms like friendly neighbors. Prior to coming to Brown, I also told myself that I wasn’t going to dorm. Rather, I planned on living in an apartment for my first year of college as to save money and maintain my own privacy. Living in Harkness Hall, however, changed my mind completely. I became close friends with nearly everyone on my floor. Our whole building would meet down in the 1st floor lounge just to chat and gossip like old girlfriends do. I was living in a college community setting, and knowing that I would be missing out on this made me change my mind about living in an apartment during my freshman year of college. I want to be part of the buzz and roommate drama. I want to have sleepovers with the girls 3 doors away from mine. I can’t wait to go back to the dorm life in about a year.

The class itself was awe-inspiring. Kisa Takesue is one of my heroes. I never thought a teacher would be so full of energy. Unlike any teacher I’ve been taught under, Kisa would actually notice the class falling asleep and making us stand in a circle and do some type of wake-up activity to get us back on our feet and ready to learn. I studied Women & Leadership, which is pretty self-explanatory. Before taking this class, I thought of feminists as man-hating hypocrites who wanted to be greater than men and take more credit for their jobs. However, this course taught me the true meaning of feminism and what feminists really do strive for, which is simply political, economic, and social equality. Through this course, I also learned how to be a better leader and facilitator. I learned techniques to calmly quieting down a classroom, which is something that many teachers at my school don’t know how to do. I was taught skills that would benefit me both in and out of the classroom.

Upon heading back to the airport, Rebecca, one of the girls in my cohort, pointed out that as we all walked: Me, Caroline, Cynthia, Rebecca, Alex, Mariko, and Adrianne; we walked as one big united group of leaders. We were ready to take the lessons learned inside and outside of the classroom to our own communities, and we walked with the confidence in knowing that we were set to change the way people see us as women and as leaders. A few hours after boarding the plane, we noticed that there was a beautiful sunset following us home. It was a perfect way to end such an amazing journey.

The college visits and Brown opened my eyes to what I really want when it comes to colleges. Before, I was set on living in an apartment and attending a California college. Now, however, although I don’t mind staying in California, I’m so much more comfortable imagining myself in out-of-state colleges such as Brown and Boston University, which is where I plan on applying to this fall. I’ve completely dropped the apartment living idea after being able to have the experience of sharing a floor with many other people going through the same life changes as I am. Being part of the ILC meant that I was qualified to partake in a huge scholarship program that has changed the way I see my future. I highly encourage those who have been offered to be part of this program to grasp onto it and take it seriously. I have absolutely no regrets ever writing that essay, going through the nerve-racking interviews, attending tutorials and listening to Don lecture about how important always replying to emails is, and boarding that plane to Rhode Island. In fact, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat if I could.

A New and Improved Alex

My name is Ava “Alex” Burnell, I attended the Women and Leadership course at Summer@Brown 2011, and I am a completely different person because of it.

I could sit here and write pages and pages filled with overly descriptive paragraphs about every single little detail and aspect of my trip this summer. But let’s face it, most people don’t really care about it enough to have the patience to read that much; plus, that sort of ruins it for any other students reading this who want to go next summer. The surprise of not knowing all of details is what makes it so exciting for us students. So I will leave those spaces for them to fill in. The little things are always more special when you discover them yourself.

I am going to expand on the 3 main things that I feel have left the biggest impact on me. The first thing is community. The second thing is knowledge. The final thing is personal courage.

The community at Brown was unbelievable and left me in complete awe. The positivity around the entire campus was absolutely overwhelming. No matter where I was at any time, I felt welcome. People who didn’t even know me and had just seen me around would stop me and have friendly conversations with me. I would say about 99% of the time, if I passed by anyone on campus, including students I didn’t even know, I would at least get a smile and a wave or a cheerful “Goodmorning!” Little things like that actually greatly improve quality of life. During my stay at Brown I was more jovial and happy to be alive than ever. I found myself appreciating every little thing that would normally be easy to take for granted. I appreciated the random songs my roommate would play. I appreciated the quiet humming sound that the fan in our room made. I appreciated the cold showers at the end of a hot evening. I appreciated just being able to breathe clean air. Being surrounded by people who cared about each other and supported each other really made me feel like part of a big family. I felt like I had a place where I knew I belonged, they made me feel like I could do anything. They made me feel like I really could be a leader and change the world. I have made friends that I am of course still in touch with and that I could see myself being lifelong friends with. I know I can always call them whenever I’m bored and want to chat, if I ever want to have an intellectual conversation, or if I just have a bad day and need someone to talk to. I made 20 new best friends and they are now a big part of my motivation to reach for the stars until I get my dreams. I am confident that they will support me every step of the way, just like I will to for them.

I learned so much on this trip that I feel like a completely different person. There are some things you have to learn from personal experience. I learned both inside and outside of class. It was very easy to apply the knowledge we received in class into the real world. The one that I think meant the most to me was that in class we always talked about making sure to be inclusive, and to be conscious about when we are not being inclusive. This basically means to include everyone in the community and to reach out to those who feel out of place. I think that is so important because everyone goes through a time when they are trying to find out where they belong and they can get really sad if they are struggling to find it. I see girls sitting by themselves in high school all the time and people almost never reach out to them or try to spend time with them. As soon as I realized that, my attitude completely changed and whenever I was in the dining hall with my friend and saw someone by themselves I would say “Hey, let’s go sit with them.” One of the first times I did that, my friend from class said “I’m so glad I met someone who actually does that. At my school nobody even does anything about it or tries to reach out to people who are alone.” When she said that I realized how rare it is that people compulsively feel the need to take care of others. That is something I developed in my class. I made many friends through this way of reaching out to people.

I gained a great deal of confidence and personal courage. This class required public speaking and being able to openly express your feelings. When I was presenting to my class, I realized that public speaking is just like a normal conversation but with a few more eyes on you. What I liked about Kisa and Jen Madden and Dean Rose was that they didn’t try to shove a specific speaking style down our throats. They showed us examples of good public speaking and ways of planning a speech and asked us to go with whatever works best for us. I have learned to sound more confident when I am speaking about things I am passionate about which is crucial because if I sound sure of myself, it will be easier for others to believe in me too.

I want to take everything I’ve learned and use it to make my community a better place. I want to teach others the importance of taking care of everyone around them. I want to show people how much better life can be with just a little more effort and a positive attitude. My life is forever changed by Summer@Brown. I will never, ever forget this experience. Any success I have in the future can without a doubt be credited to those 2 weeks of my life. Which were quite possibly the best 2 weeks I’ve ever had.

As far as college goes, this has not changed my view on my application process. I adored my time at Brown, but seeing how lucky we are to have the change to get and education and to have that great time reminded me that there are so many people without that opportunity. This made me want to go to West Point even more so that I can be a soldier and fight for freedom until ever y single human being has that right to learn. The great experiences I had at Brown made me even more willing to fight for those who are robbed of those kinds of experiences. However, if I don’t get into West Point and for some reason can’t enlist then Brown University will definitely be on the top of my list.

Thank you to the Ivy League Connection, the donors, the WCCUSD school board, the leader fellows, the RA’s, my parents, all of the girls in Harkness, Guy Sanchez, the chaperones, our guest speakers, Kisa Takesue, Jen Madden, the amazing Dean Rose, and everyone else who made this trip possible and who made it the experience of a lifetime. It has left an impact on my life that will never go away. You guys have helped make me into a better person; a new and improved Alex.

Goodnight

Farewell Brown

This blog, the “reflective blog,” is what might be the final blog in a series that chronicled the adventure of a lifetime. It must encompass the past three weeks on the East Coast and at Brown University. I have to explain how this wonderful opportunity given to me by the ILC has changed and shaped my future. Given the weighty topics I’m dealing with here, maybe you can see where it might be difficult to begin…

Honestly, I’m going to have a hard time summarizing all the events and impressions of the past weeks in a single blog, but I’ll give it my best shot. Please bear with me.

I was actually very nervous when I boarded the shuttle at El Cerrito High School. I’m not at my best at 4 in the morning, so this probably contributed to my anxiety, but a lot of my stress was simply that I didn’t know what to expect. I had been away from home (translation: away from my family) a couple of times, but I had never been away from both home and close friends for such an extended period of time. I knew Adrianne, Ava, and Caroline only slightly from classes and extracurriculars, and I knew Josie, Cynthia, and Rebecca barely at all. I was also worried about my class. I had looked up the Women and Leadership course online, but even after reading the description and watching Kisa’s video I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. (Funny, but this seems to be a recurring theme.)

I have to say that all of that has changed. I now feel very close to my fellow W&L Brownies, and I hope they feel the same. I know that I will call them for advice or just to hang out! It was great to bond with my fellow El Cerrito High students, but I was especially glad to get to know the De Anza girls. I’m pretty sure that I would never have met you three if not for this program, yet these past three weeks with you have been wonderful and enriching. My life is better with you in it!

My new circle of friends goes beyond the ILC–I have to include all 14 non-ILC students from my Women and Leadership class. We were pretty open with each other, both in class during workshops and in our dorm. A major part of this was the very clear atmosphere of acceptance. I have never been in such a comfortable “safe space” before. As demonstrated by one Ropes course exercise involving “trust falls,” I believed that everyone else would catch me and hold me up; I can only hope that everyone else felt the same way about me.

We all became so close by the end of the two weeks that it felt incredibly cruel to separate us. Despite our different experiences and points of view, everyone in our class had become friends in only two weeks. So much of the differences seem to melt away once you really get to know someone. Yet, once you find the similarities, you begin to see the differences again in a new light. The things that distinguish people become interesting, quirky parts about a friend, instead of barriers keeping two strangers apart.

I won’t go into all the details of our departure from Brown; I think that my cohorts have said enough about it. Let it suffice to say that it was terrible and the sight of my friends’ teary faces made me wish that I wasn’t flying home that day.

I must thank Tiffany and Laura for helping make my two weeks at Brown so enjoyable. Both TAs were amazing at facilitating discussions and fostering an open, supportive learning environment. I know that Kisa made every effort to support this attitude both in her TAs and in every one of us.

What can I say? Kisa is the best teacher I’ve ever had and one of the coolest people I have ever met. She made a huge effort to get to know each of us as a student and as a person, which is tough when you have 21 kids and only two weeks. She created an atmosphere in which we could feel comfortable speaking up. She encouraged the “talkers” to listen and the “listeners” to talk, while acknowledging that it was okay to be either option or neither. Kisa is warm and engaging but she doesn’t hesitate to give her honest opinion, but she phrases it in a way that isn’t hurtful.

There’s that thing that you say sometimes when you’re little: Hey I want to be her when I grow up! That’s the way I feel about Kisa. Thank you for the best two weeks of class I have ever taken.

This entire experience has helped me to grow to be a better me. I learned so much about “women and leadership” this summer, and so much more than that as well. On one hand, I learned about other people, people who come from different backgrounds but who are all beautiful and brilliant in their own unique ways. On the other hand, I learned a lot about myself–how I deal with pressure, how far I can push myself, and how much I can actually accomplish if I put my mind to it. Everything that I learned this summer will be valuable in my future, and I am so grateful that I was able to go to Brown this summer.

Of course I must thank the ILC for giving me this opportunity. Without the chance to go to Brown, my life would be so different right now. I wouldn’t have any ideas about East Coast schools; I might have only started to think about college. Now, thanks to the extensive college touring, I have a bit of a better idea of what I’m looking for in a school. I definitely plan to apply to Brown. I know that Providence really reminded me of some of my favorite aspects of the Bay Area, which was comforting when I was in a new place.

So, thank you ILC. Thank you sponsors and administrators. Thank you Brown alumni and Brown mentor program for getting me interested in such an amazing school. Thank you for offering me this amazing opportunity. I hope that in the future I continue to prove to you and to myself that I was worth it.

Undescribable Feelings

I remember everyone's faces as we, the ILC girls, got onto the shuttle bus that heads to the airport. Every single one was now familiar as we waved goodbye and teared up. It's crazy how you begin to relate a person to their life story and pretty soon they are more than just a stranger that lived in the same building as you did; they have become someone important to you, someone who you have shared amazing experiences with.

The first week we spent away from California was impressive already-- We spent every single day at a new college (they were all mind blowing). Then the second week came and we all got ready to attend our all-girls class. The day before we started, I was a bit anxious seeing that the class was comprised of all females (and strong ones at that). Who would have expected that this would be the best class I have ever been in in my life?..

Within the two weeks we spent here, the 21 of us built a bond that is stronger than some people I see on a regular basis back home in the bay area. I didn't think it was possible, but through workshops, the Ropes Course, daily classes, evening outings, the ESTRODEN, we have. You could randomly mix up our group in any way and we would be able to talk like sisters.

The class itself was so amazing. I've never seen so many strong women in one room that were able to work together so well before. I guess an all-girls class was not what I had in mind before. There were many discussions on the female and her suppression as well modern-day women and how they are also being repressed. Girls gave examples of certain things by relating to them and sharing their experiences with the class.

Some people think that classes don't leave much in your head after you have passed it and have moved onto other activities, but this class has opened my eyes a lot. Now, when I pass by billboards, newspaper ads, magazine racks, posters, a Victoria's Secret, I think to myself about how it is degrading to women. Also, I try harder to be a better person. Before this class, others and I unknowingly were being judgmental and ignorant. Now I think before I speak and always give the benefit of the doubt. My mom even says my attitude has improved immensely since I arrived home.

I remember sometime during my first week there I was feeling a bit homesick. That day was just a bad day because so many things weren't going the way I planned: 1. the washer machine wouldn't work for the longest time. 2. the dryer didn't work after the washer finally did. 3. I locked myself out of my room 4. the reception was horrible and my mom couldn't hear me telling her that I missed her and everyone else. I cried that night and couldn't wait to go home.

Then the inevitable came and the three weeks were over.. I watched my new found family surround me at the gates and hug me and tell me how they'd miss me. We all cried and cried and as the shuttle driver became more impatient we cried even more knowing it was almost time. As I watched the girls I now associate to myself as family wave goodbye, my heart clenched because I honestly learned more from them than I did from anything else on this trip. They are the most wonderful people and I'm so glad I have had the chance to become one of them. Thank you so much ILC & Partners for giving me this opportunity of a lifetime.

Home Is Not Where I Thought It Was

Our last day at Brown was the saddest day of my life. I found my 20 long lost sisters and we bonded in the short two weeks of class. Our goodbyes were the longest of any group. I didn't realize how much I grew as a person until our last day. I realized I am much more outgoing, confident, and aware of gender roles in today's society. After our Action Plan presentations, we gathered on the lawn to take pictures and say goodbye. Ms. Williams began to get frustrated with our reluctance to get into the shuttle. Since the ILC girls were the first in the class to leave, everyone saw us off. They sang the song "California Girls" to us as we got on the shuttle.

I learned a lot from the class itself. A lot I can say I knew before but I never realized how bad it really was or that a lot of it is subconscious. I am a pretty "equal" person, in that I am not intentionally racist, homophobic, sexist, or any other "-ist". However, I discovered through this course that I, among many other girls in the class, unintentionally discriminate because we grow up with that lesson that women are subordinate to men. One day, we watched a film about media literacy, which delved into the meaning behind advertisements. On the plane home, Cynthia, Josie, and I went through the magazines interpreting the ads and how they are degrading to women.

Outside of class, I became more independent, outgoing, and outspoken because living a college lifestyle requires that you be more extroverted. I became more willing to speak to strangers, speak in public, and socialize. I think being with one class for a whole day every day let us become more than just classmates. I can't imagine what it would've been like without the Ropes Course or all of the workshops because those were what really pulled us together. I don't think anyone can truly understand how we, as a class, felt saying goodbye. When Alex said "stay in touch", we all knew that we would.

Going home was painful because I wasn't really going home; I was leaving it. When we got back to California, and I saw my family, I was melancholy. I knew I was glad to be back on the west coast but all my memories seemed so distant. I wasn't even home yet when I was texting the other Women & Leadership girls and messaging them on Facebook. We chat on Facebook every day and plan to mail a journal around for everyone to write in.

The past three weeks were unforgettable and through this experience I added Brown to my college list. I miss my new family and I wish that the class could've been at least four weeks. I miss the heat, climbing the stairs, checking in one minute before curfew, hanging out in the lounge when we should be doing homework, doing homework at 3:00AM because we hung out in the lounge, getting into circles, and writing the blogs. I would give anything to go back again and I know everyone in my class feels the same because we openly talk about it every day.